I long to escape the carnival house of mirrors in which I often immerse myself, an unpredictable and often unflattering series of distorted self-images. I call a friend a coward, only to realize within a few hours that I was the one most cowardice. I fault someone for using “Christian-speak” then hear myself using a similar phrase just a few weeks later.
In the margin on a page in a book a few of us are reading, I scribble “When words or people grate on us like sandpaper, is it something the enemy doesn’t want us to hear? A healing word for us? Or a brokenness in another person, a lock for which we hold a healing key?”
The book pushes aside the classic labels of promiscuity and purity, focusing our hearts and minds on integrity.
Expectations. Impact. Outcomes. I can’t predict the expectations others bring – for the book or for me, the person who suggested this book club. I can’t predict the impact of multiple women reading this book and spending time together discussing the ideas contained. Often it is difficult to ascertain who will show up week to week to discuss a chapter, so long-term predictability readily eludes me.
I can’t predict. I need to trust.
I need to trust that the women who come, the words we read, and the discussions that follow will touch us – that for each of us there will be a healing word or the discovery of a healing key for a brokenness locked inside another.
As we journey together toward integrity the distorted images will be shattered, the glass shards combined with sand and heat, the essential elements blown into beautiful artisan glass.
Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles. – Ralph Waldo Emerson Write down a major life goal you have yet to achieve or even begin to take action on. For each goal, write down three uncertainties (read: fears) you have relating to each goal. Break it down further, and write down three reasons for each uncertainty. When you have three reasons for your fear, you’ll be able to start processing the change because you know where the fear stems from. Now you’ll be able to make a smaller changes that push you towards your larger goal. So begins the process of “trusting yourself.” SO