Tuesday, February 19, 2013


Unopened emails for a daily devotional pile up in my inbox, each arrival a click in my spiritual odometer, an opportunity to draw closer, a reminder not to walk away.

The questions waiting for me today: What circumstances has God used over the years to get my attention? How do i pay attention to God's gentle nudges in my life?

Gentle nudges in my life come and go, usually without my paying attention. The quiet magnetism i believe all humanity senses in our Creator is often ignored by me. i am a lost sheep, prone to wander and do things my own way, believing somehow i am able to find food, shelter and protection on my own.

When i stop to reflect on what God used to bring me back into the safety of the sheepfold i find my heartbeat slows with sadness. i remember circumstances of darkest night, brokenness, inhumanity  not gentle nudges but troubled places, deep hurts and primal fears for which God had prepared in advance a resting place, a healing hospice readied with people to journey with me from death to Life.

In my humanity i am like a tiny ball of yarn rolling away and coming back again. Created human i am woven into an infinite skein of wool: God's compassion and grace, His passionate embrace.

[T]he LORD came and revealed his presence, calling out as before, "Samuel, Samuel!" Samuel answered, "Speak, for your servant is listening."
1 Samuel 3:10

Heart Image: 123RF.com
Magnet Image: X Factor Consulting

Sunday, February 17, 2013


As a divorcing 23 year old mother of an infant and a toddler, I was broke and broken, with more month than money – jealous of my friend whose landlord let her pay her rent with sex.

At age 45 I stood in our living room angry and frustrated, stamping my feet like a toddler pitching a fit. My son and daughter were now in college and life still wasn't the way I wanted it: all about me.

God showed up there, in our living room, in the moment of my deepest frustration. My heart's violent prayer erupted into submission: the decision to bloom where I was planted.

And God opened doors. Closing my eyes today and returning to that time and place, I can hear the clicks of door after door unlocking – places where I felt a captive.

First work, a new job. Then relationships, a renewed marriage.

Stale wilted friendships ended.

A co-worker invited me to church, a community of people following after Christ. As I spent time with the church people a beautiful transformation happened: strange faces grew familiar, the church people became my church friends, then deeply and simply my friends.

And HOPE returned to my heart. A deep sense of life's purpose grew within me, and LOVE bloomed where I had been planted.


The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 1 Kings 19:11-13 NIV

Photo Credit: 123rf.com