The blog is dated Oct 7. The package arrived Oct 13.
I opened it this morning.
As I read through the information that came with the Q-tips, I am aware that I am afraid of needles and more than uncomfortable with hospitals. Especially as a patient.
And a donor of bone marrow, if matched, would be asked to be a patient. I waffle. I stall. I think about returning the unopened package, then open it anyway. I flip through the booklet. Page 12. A picture of a boy and his dad. The caption reads: "Just to see Luke out running and playing and doing things children should be doing is awe-inspiring ... You can be the miracle somebody needs."
I remember a friend who died from leukemia when we were in high school. I didn't think about his parents at the time, but today I contemplate the depth of their heartbreak.
I read the simple directions, use the Q-tips to swab the insides of my cheeks, seal the postage-paid envelope, and walk to the post office. My Q-tips begin the journey back Oct 15.
And to be truthful, I am afraid. I don't want to be a patient. The idea of medical personnel drawing marrow from my hips makes me queasy. Even the nonsurgical PBSC donation - much like giving plasma - isn't something I want to do. Needles. Did I mention that I am afraid of needles?
for the next step. The waiting.
Like jury duty, I may never be called.
I'm going to ask others to help. Will you to answer the registry questions, order your own Q-tips?
The site asks for a donation. And to be honest, I didn't donate.
I am assuaging my guilt with positive thought, mentally giving Seth the opportunity to pick up the tab. He's the one that started all this.
Seth's Blog: Eliminating the impulse to stall
Oh, if your still waffling, Seth's offering a profile on his blog and $10,000. He writes: "Here's the deal: if you are a match for Amit and the marrow donation happens, I'll profile you or the project of your choice on the blog and send you a check for $10,000 for you or the charity of your choice... You win the prize if you're the first certified match, but donating is completely up to you."
I glance down at my booklet. Across from the picture of a boy and his dad, on page 13 the text reads: "The marrow completely replaces itself in 4 to 6 weeks" and "You will get more information every step of the way."
And God said, “I will be with you..."
I want to believe that if faced with a crisis, circumstances or opportunity, to push someone out of harm's way, to get hit by the bus for her or take the bullet, I wouldn't hesitate - that I would step forward in Faith.
Jesus said, "Go and do the same."
The Q-tips offer an opportunity to push someone out of harm's way without risking the bullet.
Why did I hesitate?