Thursday, October 27, 2011


Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another—showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God's way. Through the Word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us.  
2 Timothy 16-17

Reading these words is changing the focus of my heart. Scripture is not about rebuking and correcting others. Scripture is about examining my own life, my own actions, my own integrity.

[in-teg-ri-tee] noun
  1. adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.
  2. a state of being whole, entire, or undiminished: to preserve the integrity of the empire.
  3. a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition: the integrity of the ship's hull.

Becoming the woman my Creator intended is about examining the woman in the mirror, honestly revisiting my past, asking for forgiveness, then accepting God's grace.

So very often, I take the first three steps, then skip essential fourth one. I hold onto satan's whispers of diminished worthiness and impaired morality, punishing myself, refusing to let God make me whole.

For years I held tightly to the illusion of purity as a perfect essence to possess and preserve - while living in a fallen world,
a place where nothing is perfect. After scuffling with promiscuity in the summer of my 23rd year, I summarily dismissed strengths, talents, gifts - the potential God placed within me. I held tightly to my failings, embraced the brokenness as true me.

This is not what God intended.

Or, as a wise woman once said, "God don't throw the baby out with the bathwater."

In this year of discovery, I am throwing out the bathwater, the cruel societal labels of promiscuity and purity. I am taking the fourth step. I am accepting God's grace and letting go of my brokenness - choosing to be a woman of integrity.


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