Friday, March 22, 2013

My Peeps

Do you really want to be converted? Are you willing to be transformed? Or do you keep clutching your old ways of life with one hand while with the other you beg people to help you change? - Henri Nouwen, The Inner Voice of Love more

Clutching. Definitely clutching.

I read this book in the spring of 2012, when it appeared on my front porch, a clandestine delivery by a friend, her husband driving the get-away van. The Inner Voice of Love arrived with Cheetos and chocolate, my comfort foods, in what was one of the darkest periods of my life. I read the whole thing, crying, sitting in my rocking chair, in our living room, the place where my journeying tightly with God began. 

And still I push away, refusing to be transformed.

You know that inner voice. You turn to it often. But after you have heard with clarity what you are asked to do, you start raising questions, fabricating objections, and seeking everyone else's opinion. Thus you become entangled in countless often contradictory thoughts, feelings, and ideas and lose touch with the God in you. And you end up dependent on all the people you have gathered around you. - Henri Nouwen, The Inner Voice of Love

I started kneeling the other day, taking a submissive posture during prayer. 

Yes, Lord. It is time to let go of my peeps, rely solely and soul-y on You to lead me on this journey. Rw


Cheree said...

Beautiful, Renee... why is it so difficult for us to rely solely (and soul-y!) on Him? I struggle, not so much with needing validation from others, but with the need to be self-sufficient instead of God-sufficient. ooooooh... I feel another post coming on! ;)

Paul Blais said...

Rw, Thank for your post about depending fully upon God. I have recently been inducted into the cancer club ( I was searching for words of encouragement when I stumbled upon your blog. The idea of your post struck a note with me. Thank you for sharing.