Like a ram stuck in a thicket, I fought to free myself. My body grew tired, fell still. I lay there, mind racing, heart beating a panicked rhythm. Week after week, then day after day, I climbed the stairs and threw myself onto the bed and yelled at the ceiling, "I can't f---- do this!"
And God answered. If He was offended by my vulgar language He did not show me His disappointment. Instead, He gently acknowledged the depth of my struggle, revealed my chronic refusal to rely on His strength, and brought to mind the words of my own Psalm:
… Loving God
Break away the stone of my hardened heart
Crush it into gravel and pave a new path for this broken life
Grind the fired clay of my self-reliance into fine dust …
The Israelites did as they were told; some gathered much, some little. And when they measured it by the omer, the one who gathered much did not have too much, and the one who gathered little did not have too little. Everyone had gathered just as much as they needed. Exodus 16:17-18