light in the shadows

01 Feb 2014 – i remember the meeting.

the notes in the margin of my notebook read:

storm
in without
hold integrity
celebrate
job description
expectations
connections
clinics
Covenant
overarching
specific ministry
pieces
baseline
faith life
fellowship
ttu
what is is essential?
what in me is broken that i am afraid?

i came into the meeting overwhelmed, exhausted, wanting, needing.

i left with fragile hope, permission and affirmation to sit on my step, to move neither up nor down, to not let go of the old nor take on the new, to not give up, to not drop any one thing, but to suspend the non-essentials, to embrace the basics in what i had been doing, to sit and rest and wait for God to send help.

and God sent help

in the notebook before me, there is now a list of 19 names – 12 strangers who recently and unexpectedly entered my life, new co-conspirators in the journey

and 7 familiar friends who drew closer, bringing strength and inspiration

i remain here on my step engaged and motionless, resting in the hope, in the permission and affirmation

i am learning to suspend the non-essentials and unearthing time for rest

i am no longer in the dusky shadowed darkness

for God has moved

and on my step there is new Light.

God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. God set them in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth, to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good. Genesis 1:16-18 NIV

Rjw