Inspired by Kimberly

Coming in the front door,
my husband brings our mail.
He calls to me up the stairway,
"Are you expecting a package?"
I am not, yet I travel down
a flight of stairs in record time,
my classical conditioning
to December-arriving parcels
embarrassingly apparent.

Even before the package is opened, my fingers discern a book within the padded envelope. Inspired By Tozer emerges.

My heart beats recognition.
Anxious hands flip open the TOC. Searching eyes scan for her name. I turn to page 173.

There must be a work
of God in destruction
before we are free.
We must invite the cross
to do its deadly work
within us. —A. W. Tozer

As I read DEADLY WORK, Kimberly's reflection on Tozer's words, the word 'menagerie' jumps from the page.

I am transported back in time, surrounded by an intimate group
of four strangers. I am inspired by the playful artistry of Kimberly's hair, kissed by handfuls of tiny butterfly clips. As she unfolds her story, I am awed by her tenacity in the face of evil, blown away by her faith in God.

I am inspired by her strength, the heroism within her humanity.

So here, desperately clinging to the freedom of the unfurled sail of God on the stormy sea of life, I howl above the crashing waves...
—Kimberly L. Smith, Inspired by Tozer

Like a butterfly clip of titanium, in Christ she is uncrushable.

Rw

an intimate group of strangers
Kimberly L Smith
Photo credit: Clips
.

Focus

Job: If my job annoys me, I am truly in trouble. I volunteer for organizations I am passionate about, alongside people I respect, admire, love. That’s not to say personalities don’t get in the way, but it is rare, and I find myself truly enjoying my job 359 days each year.

Relationship:

If I am honest, the relationship most often
not working
in my life is
my role as daughter.

I often

hear failure

in words

said to the daughter-in-me. I often find myself playing a child’s game of telephone with a couple of metal cans and a string.
An intended good job, here is an idea for doing better becomes
a jumbled garbage, there is no reason to try any longer. I cling
to my garbled hurt like a 3-year-old clutching her woobie. Change comes when I release imagined expectations and aphonic blame, when I put down the cans-n-string phone of childhood.

Friends: Limitless levels of friendship flow across my lifetime.

my mentors as friends

the friends I sometimes mentor

friends I want to spend more time with

fading friends with whom I find little in common

rekindled opportunities held in friendships softly faded

people who call themselves friends yet seem to insist
on playing prove you love me games

people who whine a competitive friendship challenge
with invitations to coffee and camaraderie

if only I will call them

those who will read this and elect to stand apart from me

clinging to the jumbled words and garbled hurt
of my flawed humanity
building self-imposed barriers to our friendship

In a quick list of 15 friends, I find people in all categories. Change comes as I sift the broad inclusive group called friends and focus on people I want to spend more time with – my friends.

Rw

Movie: Mr. Mom
Cans photo

Fault and Change by Carlos Miceli
I must be myself. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. - Ralph Waldo Emerson Think of all the things that are not working in your life. That job you don’t like, that relationship that’s not working, those friends that annoy you. Now turn them all on you. Imagine that everything that’s not working in your life, is your fault. How would you approach it? What would you work on to change your life to the state that you want it to be? CM

Hiding Words

Echoing in the canyons of childhood memories is the message that I didn’t quite measure up.

Whether real or imagined, I internalized this barrier, which as an adult led me to be a Helper, someone who prefers working behind the scenes, alleviating burdens and responsibilities of others. While this is a good and kind impulse, it lacks spontaneity and uniqueness, my own passion.

During my career in graphic arts and printing, I cultivated proofreading as a survival skill. Later came editing, then writing – or rather rewriting. When a friend started a visitors’ guide for local tourists, I assisted with rewriting customer copy and producing articles on events and opportunities. I researched the advertisers’ websites and paraphrased copy. Occasionally, I wrote something somewhat original, but mostly I cleaned up the narratives of others, added a dash of sparkle – like a parrot expanding her vocabulary.

This past fall, a friend asked me to help publish her book, the story of her life journey and the early years of the nonprofit that is her passion. Later, she invited me to accompany her on a weekend retreat where she gifted each member of the nonprofit board a signed copy of her book – an amazing story, an awesome experience.

My author-friend did something I believed I could never do – she published her book, found the courage to put her words out there for all to see.

Just a few days ago, I was afforded the opportunity of a To Be Told workshop where each of us was asked to share her story, then share more of her story. In my telling, I used the words icky, icky and yucky – my vocabulary revealing a child-like immaturity, hiding my love of words.

Today, riding the cresting wave of my author-friend’s courage and the freedom I uncovered in To Be Told, I accept the Trust30 Challenge.

I step away from the Helper and come into the light. I am an Encourager, a speaker and writer of words, seeking to inspire others with courage, spirit and hope.



Learn more about telling your story at http://mhgs.edu/conferences/allenderconferences/The-Story-Workshop

My author-friend’s book is Touch Stone, the nonprofit is http://www.touchedtwiceunited.org




Divine Idea by Fabian Kruse
Imitation is Suicide. Insist on yourself; never imitate. – Ralph Waldo Emerson Write down in which areas of your life you have to overcome these suicidal tendencies of imitation, and how you can transform them into a newborn you – one that doesn’t hide its uniqueness, but thrives on it. There is a “divine idea which each of us represents” – which is yours? (Author: Fabian Kruse)